Wombs and weight: an eye-opening account of life as a female barrister

The reality is that there is still sexism in all walks of life. The experiences detailed above are not out of the ordinary, and to single out the Bar as being behind the times in terms of how women are treated is unfair.

The vast majority of people working at the Bar are well-educated and well brought-up. Try working on a building site...

Anonymous -10 Jan 2012 | 14:36

You are not being sensitive, you are right

Hey there.

I really like your writing – so I'll go on reading you. It is a beautiful post describing the path we women are going through from a point that we don't want to be considered feminist – because that is not so complimentary and have connotations of that fat ugly hairy bitter woman who is so angry at men – she ends up making up theories such as Dvorkin's theories.

Yeah, and none of us want to be called "feminist" – until that point that something is making us realise that something is STIIL wrong with our working environment culture – which is dominated by manhoodness (the spellcheck is telling me there is no such word, LOL, that's because in our society manhoodness is normality and you don't need a word for what is obvious).

Anyway, I have been reading the book "The Beauty Myth" by Naomi Wolf, and she has this theory that beauty standards where made up by men to lash back women from the working market.

If for a moment I thought the author went a bit far, there comes your story to demonstrate that point – why did your college chose THAT timing to make the remark about your weight? There is more then coincidence in this choice of timing of the remark – it was at this point when you won a hard case. What better way there is to make a woman to feel unsuccessful than to make a comment about her weight? Most women that I know have only "few pounds" to lose. Even if they are slim. It is NOT the few pounds – but it is about MAKING YOU FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE IN YOUR OWN BODY AND MAKING YOU FEEL LIKE YOU ARE NOT SIMPLY OK BUT YOU WILL BE OK IN A FEW POUNDS LESS.

That is the ultimate weapon. Your career can fly high as long as you will feel a winner and having this hard-to-achieve verdict could certainly be a reason for pride. But no - you have few pounds to lose and it is highly more important then achieving a verdict which is hard to achieve.

You know what I would do? Come the next morning to the office, with a HUGE CREAMY CHOCOLATE CAKE - and tell all the others at the office that you want to celebrate your success in this verdict. Eat just few pieces of it right in front of his eyes with great desire, and let him no that now, when you achieved this point as a lawyer - you want to fatten out of joy.

It is not that there is a conspiracy – of men deciding ahead that once a woman is breaking through in her career – the nasty remark will be spited out…. no. It is, I think, in their subconscious – because I have ran also into similar situations.

Grace -11 Jan 2012 | 19:33

Reply to anonymous

Anonymous - perhaps she is commenting on the Bar because she is a barrister, and this is a LEGAL blog?

Daisy -13 Jan 2012 | 15:15

feminism shouldn't be such a dirty word

I don't think anyone should be ashamed of being a feminist, after all essentially all that means is you believe in equality. I understand the word, feminist, has been tainted but I really do think it is time for people to stop hiding behind that excuse and speak plainly.

Women have to help each other. I understand sometimes it is easy to judge as you did. I know that the other barrister reacted in a way that she thought was the most professional... but if only she had told the judge the truth that she has a personal matter that she needed to attend surely an adjournment wouldn't have destroyed her career. After all we are all human and have a personal life... If more people reacted this way surely the profession would change more quickly. I think women are half the problem rather than doing what they know is right they react how they think they ought to.

I am a law student and I have countless times encountered sexist behaviour. Always I will say something, and it does mean that I become know as a martyr and a feminist but I'd rather be that than to accept something that is plainly not right and everyone knows it. I'm proud to be a feminist and I don't care who knows it. I wish more women thought this way because then I believe men would think twice about making such rude comments, exactly like the ones made about your weight.

Hermes -13 Feb 2012 | 07:51

I enjoyed reading this, although I was a bit disappointed to see some old soundbites being trotted out, for example about being promoted if you leave at 5 to collect your kids instead of working 24/7. First, if your role allows you to work effectively 9-5, what's wrong with leaving at 5? Second, the issue isn't whether leaving at 5 (or any other 'flexible' working system) should slow down promotion - it's whether it totally halts progression. I've taken a year's maternity leave and I accept that my career progression is going to be 'flatter' than someone who's been hard at it while I've been at home. (Although I was actually promoted during my time off - how about that for an enlightened law firm!!) However, taking time off shouldn't mean that my future chances of promotion/partnership are totally shafted. It will just take longer and law firms need to adapt their expectations - I won't be ready to be a partner at 8-9PQE, because I will be in the middle of having babies! I may however be ready at about 11-12PQE. What's wrong with this?

Also, why didn't you tell the old male barrister in the robing room to sod off? I wouldn't have had any issues, professional or otherwise, in telling someone however senior that they were being rude and I'm not a particularly forthright person! Seriously, commenting about someone's weight in public is pathetic and childish and they need to be put back in their box.

Anon -17 Feb 2012 | 11:31

Standing up

I'm a woman and I think women just need to stand up for themselves, this barrister made the decision not to say anything, you can't blame sexism in the legal profession for that. If you believe in yourself and believe in your ability it shouldn't matter if you're a woman, we have a partner in our firm who is a woman and she is as respected in the industry and certainly in our practice as much as her male colleagues because she's eloquent and god at her job.

I'm not denying there is sexism in the profession but ultimately you have a choice whether or not to put up with it, I certainly wouldn't and if more women had this confidence it would have to diminish.

As for having babies again it's up to you how much you let it affect your career, yes you take time out but that doesn't mean to say you can't progress professionally after, again it's your choice how quickly you want to progress and how much time you want to spend at home with your children i.e. work part-time. The reason men overall are in more senior positions is because women have children and their expectations change when they have them, there's nothing wrong with that, it's a personal issue for you to decide.

Francesca -17 Feb 2012 | 12:30

Our own worst enemy

As a woman at the bar (although recently gone "in house") this blog rings a lot of bells. The worst thing is how anaesthetised we become to comments about our clothing or looks. I couldn't believe it the first time a fellow barrister told me that he couldn't understand why us girls insisted on wearing trousers, when we had such lovely legs - in court. However I have had equally as ridiculous, but infinitely more snide comments from some older female colleagues at the bar. One in particular suggested (also during a complicated sex trial) that I should consider becoming a lap dancer. Funnily enough the (male) police officer was the first to intervene to tell her how inappropriate her behaviour was. Unfortunately in such an adversarial profession, unprofessional people use spite to score points. Male or female.
www.jfhlaw.co.uk

Julia -17 Feb 2012 | 13:40

Buy a dictionary

I would suggest to the poster that she is indeed a traditional feminist. A feminist is not a certain look (why does wearing heels and make-up mean she isn't a feminist? The idea that feminists are all butch bikers is no doubt a myth started with the intention of making the term 'feminist' sound undesirable); and it's nothing to do with hating men (another myth, I suspect, proliferated by men decades ago to make feminists appear silly). It's also not about being hard nosed or feeling you need to act like an emotionally-stunted man in the workplace. Being a feminist is about what you believe in - that women should be respected as equals and should have the same opportunities as men. Women openly objecting to being labelled a feminist when they believe in these things only makes achieving these things harder.

Apple -17 Feb 2012 | 17:11

I still remember being advised (by an older male member of the Bar) not to take a career break to have children, as women who did 'returned with baby-brain' and were never the same again! I politely disagreed...

Leto -20 Feb 2012 | 14:41

Do you really think that men do not have to put up with horrible comments (the comment about looks was indeed horrible).

You have chosen to join a profession which specialises in being nasty to people, in humiliating people in the witness box, to doing and saying anything within the broad bounds of the law in order to get the best possible result for the client.

Why on earth would you think that people in such a profession would be anything other than brutal?

Anon -22 Feb 2012 | 21:03