Career Clinic: Confidence shot after too long in the same place - how do I kickstart my career?

I sympathise - I posted on here at the beginning of the year as a 15+PQE lawyer in the doldrums in practice. I was thankfully (!) made redundant shortly afterwards which kickstarted my efforts to do something different (I had been looking to move in-house for over a year prior to that). Fortnightly trips to the JobCentre to sign on can do wonders for your confidence in your profession.

I recently joined Axiom - they or BLP's Lawyers On Demand would potentially be good fits for you. Your in-house experience would make you very saleable to their clients but you wouldn't have to deal with the internal politics of any role or be committed to staying put in any one role for more than 3-6 months if you didn't want to.

They also appear to be good at pitching you into clients and areas of work that you can do but which aren't necessarily the pigeonhole that you might have found yourself being put in by recruitment consultants (or put yourself in through lack of confidence). Remember from your own internal moves in-house that you don't need expertise in an area to be able to move into it and do well. This is forgotten in an employers' market where recruiters overspecify particular sector and subject experience because they don't lack candidates.

You do lose out in benefits and security what you get in freedom though (statutory minimum for everything or nothing at all as self-employed respectively). But I have certainly felt a new lease of life from the freedom and have found myself enjoying work more than I had for years before even though I am on an engagement in a role I would not have wanted permanently (or got past HR/recruitment consultant if I had applied directly).

anon -23 Jun 2011 | 13:36

Spine

- "I feel like I have been doing the same job since I joined the company - even though I have supported different businesses within the group, the work at the end of the day is the same!" – This sounds like transactional law – it is boring, it is the same, it took you 20 years to spot that! Genius. Try and get a litigation role – you might actually then experience some actual law.

"...I am not sure I want the responsibility when I already have the grading!" – Always a good sign, not being able to handle the pressure or challenge of a situation!

- "A few years ago I had a bad experience of corporate bullying which ended up with a stressful grievance process and left me with problems with confidence, stress, anxiety and depression. This bad experience has stopped me putting myself forward for more exciting roles" – Sounds like you should go and see a shrink to be honest. You sound a bit shattered.

- "at the same time I am getting fed up of doing deal after deal - the same old same old!" – Corporate "law" is boring – live with it –the real issue here is that you picked an area of the law which requires no talent save for the ability to stave off boredom. You took money over happiness. So corporate / banking lawyers get paid well do they. Well, no amount of money would compensate me if I did a job where, for 20 years, I could never use intelligence above that of a door mouse.

- "How do I kick off developing my career and development plan - and ultimately regain my confidence to get me out of my comfort zone and into something more exciting?" – This is an embarrassment to the profession – how do I kick off an action plan and become confident? How have you lasted 20 years in the profession? Just do it. Hand in your notice tomorrow – it will feel great – like a weight has been lifted off your shoulder – you will experience freedom.

Sorry to be harsh but I am only saying what everyone else is probably thinking.

My advice. Grow a spine. Give up transactional "law" and get a real law job where you have to use skills such as analysis and critical thinking – you will enjoy it more. Transactional positions are for boring individuals with no personality and no life who think that high intelligence means cutting and pasting from precedents. They are the equivalent of dentists – i.e. not good enough to be a doctor (in the case of the corporate lawyer; not good enough to be a business (wo)man or banker) so they only deal with the non-challenging aspects of the transaction (i.e. copying precedents and writing a few board minutes). It sounds like there is a bit of personality trying to escape from you ("creativity") which means that you are not suited to a role that was designed for robots and drones who couldn't think their way out of a paper bag unless the instructions are in baby language on PLC! In fact, it is arguable that you have gone a bit stir crazy due to the mundane and non-intellectually stimulating aspect of transactional law. You trained to be a lawyer: Do law...(As opposed to being a glorified accountant without the mathematical ability! ).

Villas Boas -23 Jun 2011 | 14:45

Whoever said lawyers weren't sensitive?

@ Villas Boas

This is Career Clinic, not the first half of Full Metal Jacket. I think the questioner was hoping for helpful and supportive advice...

Anonymous -23 Jun 2011 | 15:50

Make a decision...

12 years is a long time to be in a role - surely you must have anticipated the path your career journey would have taken??

In my experience, in-house has its perks but, as you rightly highlight, does have limitations on what it can offer. Besides supporting different businesses, can you not take control geographical regions (APAC, EMEA etc)?

My guess is that not all companies offering in-house roles are the same - the degree to which a role is considered challenging is somewhat dictated by the nature of the company, its position in the marketplace, future potential for growth etc. Perhaps a move to relatively smaller, growing organisation could offer you the working life you're looking for?

Sorry to hear about your hit on confidence - I'm sure it's easier said than done but you just have to get back on the horse...(perhaps, as already mentioned, with the aid of counselling??).

Good luck...!

GC -23 Jun 2011 | 16:29

Refresh Yourself!

I sympathise too. I've 15 years PQE and 10 of those in my current in-house role - albeit with different job titles and packages along the way.

I've been through the same period of malcontent (boredom) and the issue now seems pretty simple to me. You either change your employment, or change how you approach your employment.

After 20 years you can do the transactional stuff with your eyes closed - doesn't that give you some time to look around you? How can you grow your role into other (more exciting) areas in your business - which surely must have also changed in that time? How do you demonstrate your value? How do you focus on your own visibility in the organisation - being more visible can get you pulled into exciting projects even without the GC title and responsibility?

I looked at the other opportunities available in the market place and decided I already had the best job available, and that I was suited for. My attention since then has been on making ME better for my role, and my current role better for ME.

All the best.

ps it's Dormouse NOT Door mouse. Shame that wasn't the only idiotic mistake in the entire post earlier...

Anon -24 Jun 2011 | 13:07

I sympathise too. I have 20 years PQE and when I set it out like that it feels like an incumbrance rather than an asset.
Especially when you have made a personal choice not to accept a senior position because you don't want the responsibility.

Have you considered taking executive or life coaching ? I was rather cynical about that kind of thing but I did go through a rough patch in 2003 and felt I was getting stuck in a rut. I took some coaching from someone who specialised in coaching business people. A good coach will help you identify what is important to you in your career, what your career goals are and how you will achieve them. A good one can also help you overcome self-limiting beliefs.

By the way, there is nothing wrong with having occasional periods of self-doubt. We have all had them, just as we have all had those moments when you sit there on a Friday afternoon and fantasise about easier ways to earn a living than being a solicitor.

The key is not to doubt yourself too much, remember that 20 years continuous PQE is an achievement to be proud of, and don't judge your own achievements as against other persons' actual or imagined achievements. Unless you are a genius, there is always someone out there who is better than you.
Life should be a joy, not a competition.

Whatever you choose to do, good luck.

high street solicitor -24 Jun 2011 | 14:27

Cyber bully

@ villas boas/spine: Please be more constructive in your comments - don't use this post as a punch bag. You are coming close to a cyber-bully and that kind of comment can stop someone using this forum for seeking advice if they are going to be treated like that.

@poster- sounds like you are ready for a change. Bullying is a serious issue and if you have not been able to receive counselling for it at the time, do it now - most companies have an employee assistance program where the first six sessions are free. It will do wonders for your confidence and getting you out there.

the grass is greener elsewhere -24 Jun 2011 | 14:54

small changes

I suggest you start by thinking through what small changes you could make in your existing role which may make you happier in it. The employee assistance programme suggestion is a good one, and CBT may help you in implementing this. The home working may be part to blame here, I have found personally it can make work more like a production line and personally, I thrive on the day to day interactions across a multiple of disciplines (I am in-house and enjoy interacting with "the business").

On the pure work front, are you able to diversify away from just the day to day commercial contracts at work? Depends on what your company does perhaps. But the risk assessment ability of an in-house lawyer is something which lends itself to other more strategic activity. Which if you took a more senior role you may find comes to you and is something which stimulates you. Not for everyone I accept.

Finally, as others have noted, the approach taken by villas boas above was unpleasant and patronising, and I join them in deploring the conduct. Look at the title of this post "confidence shot..." So you have clicked on a career clinic and broken down the query posted by someone who has asserted they are lacking in confidence, and had a pop at each section, potentially further damaging such confidence?

That might be what litigation involves, but this isn't litigation is it. It is a career clinic. Stop acting like a member of Cambridge University Netball Team.

Stupot -24 Jun 2011 | 18:58

Good for you

Work has a huge impact on happiness and fulfilment and many people who hate their career are never brave enough to do anything else, and many of them are lawyers. What a waste of a life to be in the wrong job. Empathy is not the top quality for lawyers as some of these posts show. Well done you for your honesty.

Tips; surround yourself with positive people not cynics or critics, get a career coach, get clear on your values- what is important to you and reflect on this: "What's the question you need to ask yourself?"

talentliberator -25 Jun 2011 | 08:03

Think again

With such experience you could start thinking of setting up on your own as a sole practitioner then become a consultant to the same firm or company (If such is available) otherwise, it is time, I think, to go it alone or seek partnership of like minded lawyers. Frightening as it may be, it has its own reward - Satisfaction.

Best of luck

David Akin-Samuels -25 Jun 2011 | 12:01

Time for a change

Everyone gets stuck in a rut every now and then but life is too short to carry on doing the same thing and expecting a different outcome. My suggestions are:

1 - move company. If you are inspired by the product straightforward work seems more interesting and purposeful.

2 - move somewhere where you can work in an office. Most of my satisfaction from my job comes from meeting people every day. Working from home is a welcome break once in a while but long-term is very lonely.

3 - look backwards not forwards. I'm not trying to belittle what you went through but wasting time thinking about something you can't change is demoralising in itself. If you feel strong enough just decide that you're going to put it behind you, get a makeover, a personal trainer and a new haircut and wardrobe and decide to be a new confident you (sounds trivial but can make you feel so much better!). Otherwise, get some counselling and help to undergo this change.

4 - lawyers are trained that life satisfaction must come from your job. This is not true. If you're happy enough with your job but it's your confidence you want to do something about, take up a new hobby, join an evening class. In short, get a life! Again, I don't mean to by flippant but there is no need for your life to be defined by your job.

Best of luck. Carpe diem (and all that!)

Inhouser -27 Jun 2011 | 10:22

Is Villas Boas Investment Banker in disguise?

Percy -27 Jun 2011 | 14:02

@ Percy

I was thinking the very same thing...

Anonymous -27 Jun 2011 | 14:40

@ Poster, Villas Boas's irrational, unhelpful and frothing aggression is fairly common in private practice litigation, so that's one area I'd steer clear of when looking for another job. Have you considered starting a small business in your spare time (presuming your undemanding job gives you time). If it takes off, or gives you satisfaction, you could switch to it full time. If not, nothing lost (other than start up capital).

Anon -27 Jun 2011 | 15:29

Avoid Axiom

Despite what Anon says, if your idea is to get into areas other than the ones you are working on at this time, Axiom is a poor choice. The firm has no cognizable career development plan and will pitch you to clients on the basis of what you do now, and not on areas onto which you could branch out. Think about it - without a group of colleagues who may have different expertise from which you could draw, where would your learning "on the job" come from? The client does not want to have to train you, and if you do not already know something you will have to consult outside counsel, wiping out the advantage the Axiom model could have. The safest bet for the client and Axiom is to place you squarely in the middle of your comfort zone – in fact, a common experience is to be placed doing work below what your experience would warrant. Note that Anon states that s/he is in a role s/he would not want permanently. That could be a fluke, or it could be the beginning of a string of such roles and that is as sapping of morale as being stuck doing the same old job.

Axiom may work for those who want flexibility and do not mind the risk of not having a project for a couple of months, but that does not seem to be your case.

Former Axiomite -28 Jun 2011 | 09:21

Co-operative spirit!?

I read your "my creative side, my relationship and people skills are not being utilised". I'm happy to talk to you (nisidominusfrustra-legalweekposter@yahoo.co.uk): I am 27 yrs PQE and who knows, creativity and network might, privately, mix and enable a two-handed team/bolt-on approach to a monied employing entity!

Jeff -30 Jun 2011 | 16:38

@Jeff - This is not a dating website!

Highland Spring -30 Jun 2011 | 17:36

re former axiomite

Interesting - but I think it will work well for me in moving from a highly specialised private practice area to being considered plausible for more general work (I had far too many rc comments along the lines of "oh, that's a very intellectual area, you won't be what a very commercial client wants" or the slightly nicer "you are remarkably personable for a specialist in that field"). The original poster needs a break and a chance to get into another business without being lumbered with the politics - at their level of experience that gives them a very broad range of things they can be pitched at, but at their level of confidence that range narrows to nothing if being done by themselves.

I'm not sure that I'd want to stay like this forever, but a few big brand client engagements will erase the "who?" of 3 years spent at a regional firm (in footballing terms I went from Champions League to mid-table Premiership to Hartlepool) and erase preconceptions about the commerciality of people in my specialism. Moving from being unemployed and feeling unemployable to feeling that there's still a lot ahead that I can get to is a big thing.

I don't really need to be "developed" in the short term and lawyers in the 15-20PQE should already have got the development needed to be capable of doing senior roles, as I'm sure the original poster has while deciding they didn't want them. Being able to go into new environments without the risk of feeling trapped into them will help to open up possibilities that the poster doesn't believe in at the moment.

anon -07 Jul 2011 | 17:32

What a great place to start from...

Wow, seems like you're starting from a great place to begin with. Some suggestions?

1. See a life coach. Sign up for 4 - 8 weekly sessions over the summer and see if it sparks anything in you.

2. If time allows, consider some legal voluntary work outside your comfort zone: doing new stuff that's a bit difficult will be give your confidence a shot in the arm and you might get a better perspective on how fortunate you really are.

3. Take up some external classes in something that attracts you - who ever said we have to get all our fulfillment from/in work?

4. Before you do any of the above, do me a favour and read (children's book) "A squash and a squeeze" - it's all about perspective.

Would be great to hear how you get on by the way!

Joe -11 Jul 2011 | 12:20

Confidence shot after too long in the same place - how do I kickstart my career?

Thanks everyone for you helpful - and not so helpful - suggestions. I have done some things:
1. Booked an appointment to see my head of department to discuss my issues;
2. Arranged to see a friend - an experienced HR consultant for some initial coaching.
I hasten to add that during my 20 years practice I have not just done transactional work but also:
1. Managed teams and acted as account manager for internal clients (which I enjoyed);
2. Set up the department's diversity programme;
So I am not just a transactional lawyer!

Warwickshire -14 Jul 2011 | 13:13

One item of wise counsel from me, and one only: do not believe anyone who tells you that litigious work is the way to experience "real law".

It is the way to fill in a lot of forms and spend large amounts of time dealing with bureaucrats who live in the 1950's.

Litigators just want you to believe this because their collective God complex demands that you worship and fear them.

Mutton Jeff -27 Oct 2011 | 06:44

Re-imaging

I perfectly understand your situation. In fact, I know a couple of similar cases and I would like to help.

Let me first say that I am also a creative lawyer. Some years ago I found the way to combine my passion for law with my creativity side. I launched my own business! This enables me not only to develop my creativity and people skills but also to boost my confidence and discover that I actually do have more skills than I first thought I did. Don’t get me wrong I still practice law… I love our profession!

Well, taking the first step is never easy; in fact it requires lots of courage to RE-IMAGING your work and life!! (The definition of Re-imaging is to re-install the operating system and applications on a computer. Starting from scratch)….but not everybody is ready to do this even if most of the people would like to do this!

From my point of view, it seems that you are on the right path. I would strongly recommend you to talk with a good coach who will help you to re-imaging your professional situation, make you discover or rediscover skills as well as recover your level of confidence.

One of the best reasons to recommend a professional coach is that he/she understands that everybody needs some change in life and gives the right support because she/he has also experienced lots of changes in her/ his own professional life. A good coach will help you to find the best way for you to go out of your zone of control as well as rebuild your level of confidence.

I personally know a couple of excellent professional coaches so may I take this opportunity to encourage you to get in touch with on of them : Maria (maria@confidenceinsideout.com). She is really excellent! I know that she helped other lawyers to move in their professional lives as well as to recover their levels of confidence. You can have a free initial conversation face-to-face or over the telephone and she will explain in detail what she can do for you.

Good luck!!

Creative lawyer -28 Oct 2011 | 02:54