Career Clinic: My boss keeps criticising my appearance

Compromise

Being a trainee is very difficult. Being a supervisor and taking scruffy trainees to meetings is also difficult. The outfit you have described could be fine if it is smart and fitted, or you could look like a student after one too many drinks: her criticism implies it is closer to the latter. Unfortunately, it is easier to get away with being scruffy, the more senior you are. It isn't about spending money (and I have seen trainees criticised for not spending enough money on clothes which is completely unacceptable) but presenting an image. If you are uncomfortable about tying your hair up, you need to cut it to above your shoulders (which according to the girls' mags makes it look thicker anyway): you can only get away with long hair if you are more qualified or it is immaculate. I think you are going to have to wear heels with trousers, as scuffed hems are not a good look; smart flat shoes with skirts are fine. I assume the shirts are fitted but if not, make sure they are, or wear a fitted top. The key addition though is a jacket: you may even be able to ditch the heels if you do. Or wear a dress. I feel for you as I trained in a firm where these rules didn't apply at all but in City firms they do and they matter.

Associate -29 Jul 2010 | 09:47

I would largely agree with the first poster. I would personally not wear a black shirt with black trousers and I would add a jacket. If you wear a skirt or trousers, a white shirt and a jacket, I would say you are fine. I suspect you will find that if you tighten up the dress code a little bit and do so more often and always for client meetings, your boss will take a view on a relaxed dress code at times when there are no clients around.

Good luck!

Me -29 Jul 2010 | 10:27

wear make up

I agree with the above posts.

Don't take your supervisor's comments personally - at the end of the day it is about business and people take you more seriously if you dress the part. You should be grateful that she has told you about it and given you a chance to do something about it as many supervisors will only put that in your final appraisal or never tell you and mark you down because of this.

Invest in a good suit (your firm may be able to get you firm discounts, so be sure to look into that), some work dresses and heels (kitten heels will do if you don't like high heels). Get a good hair cut, a hairdresser should be able to help you about thin hair and scalp showing - Selfridges has really professional hair consultants, they helped me a lot.

You didn't mention if you wear makeup. If you dont, you should consider wearing subtle makeup. Good luck and don't be disheartened.

anon -29 Jul 2010 | 11:58

practical thoughts re heels

If you hate heels, try smart high-heeled boots - much easier on the feet - or keep a pair of heels just for meetings.

Anonymous -29 Jul 2010 | 12:04

may be it's true?

I've worked in the City for years and have seen some truly shocking sights when it comes to female attire. In all these years, I have only come across one person who was (validly) criticised and that was because she dressed as though she wanted to join the circus. I've seen countless of female lawyers getting away with clothes that have no place in the workplace. What I'm trying to say is that, given that background, is there a possibility that the comments about your appearance are valid? In my experience your appearance must fall way below acceptable standards before someone will pull you up on it.

hard but fair -29 Jul 2010 | 13:44

Always dress for the job you want.

"Dress poorly and they notice the dress, dress well and they notice the woman" - Chanel (or Sigourney Weaver in "Working Girl", whichever you prefer!)

Have a look at the "Chic Simple" books for ideas on casual wardrobes.

Coco -29 Jul 2010 | 14:11

Buy a suit

As the title says, buy a suit and a selection of shirts from TM Lewin. That is what you are supposed to wear at work. I only know one person who I have seen criticised for his suit and that was because he looked like he'd stolen it from an extra on Life on Mars. It is very difficult to be criticised for wearing a suit or to get it wrong (even if you are a girl) and it needn't cost the earth.

Anonymous -29 Jul 2010 | 15:59

Next sale

As an in-house lawyer in a casual dress games company who now wears jeans and polo shirts to work every day, I have to say that I miss wearing suits.

I agree with the above posters. Clients are paying a lot of money for your services and deserve to see you dressed smartly. If you look like you don't care about your appearance they will expect your work to be sloppy too.

I am not very good at 'style' so stuck to the same formula in all my years in private practice - always a suit, whether skirt (short or long, straight or flared) or trousers. Always heels, (boots in winter, shoes in summer) and always wear make up.

I used to make a beeline for the Next sale every summer and winter to get a few inexpensive but stylish suits, heels and fitted shirts or smart tops, so that I never wore the same thing too often (and so they last longer too) and always had a 'best' suit for interviews and court.

Perception is reality - so show some pride in yourself and your work.

in-house lawyer -29 Jul 2010 | 16:42

Goth?

That doesn't sound like professional attire to me. You represent the firm and the partner you are with especially at meetings. I suspect that you know you aren't coming up to scratch. You may make fair comments on your hair but you can do something about your clothes.

D2:2 -29 Jul 2010 | 17:13

Its gotta be done

I think the above comments say it all. Yes, I understand that you believe your work should do all the talking and not your attire but I am afraid that in a law firm your appearance is just as important, especially in the City. Same goes for men as well as women.

You risk being overlooked for client meetings, client networking & social events etc if you carry on ignoring their comments. This will have a detrimental affect on your career development.

I work for a City firm and am a scruffy mare outside of work but for the office I have a have smart skirt suits, some pressed shirts, kitten heels, GOOD tights (not snagged or bobbly please!) and wear kitten heels, and makeup! It makes all the difference. You don't need a huge new wardrobe, just invest in a few good quality items. Hit the sales - Next, M&S, Jaeger have great sales. You'll feel more confident too.

I have the suits dry-cleaned and my shirts professionally laundered - an additional expense but it just means I always know I have something good and corporate to put on. I sympathise with the hair (mine is generally unmanageable) but consultation with a good hairdresser will sort it out.

Depending on the firm you have other hurdles to get over yet before qualification - don't let your attire be one of them, it's not worth it.

Law Firm Lady -29 Jul 2010 | 17:18

may be its true 2

I think I might have been a bit too subtle before. Take a good look at yourself compared to the other females in your office. Then take yourself to the local purveyor of garments and get yourself kitted out. It ain't that hard to be business smart. It's probably harder to be scruffy!

hard but fair -29 Jul 2010 | 17:27

A word about black

Black really doesn't suit everybody. It can make the wrong skin-tone look like death. So before you go and buy some new clobber based on the wise comments above, think about your colouring. Would a different neutral work better - navy, grey, olive, chocolate brown?

Don't just fork out cash without thinking about what suits you. Check out Inside Out Style: http://www.insideoutstyleblog.com/. The writer has some excellent stuff about colour, what styles suit different body shapes, hairstyles for face shapes etc.
And you could try http://corporette.com/, although sometimes they're so far up themselves it ain't pretty.

Good luck!

Coco -29 Jul 2010 | 20:07

Get professional help

I would be really careful about black - it really doesn't suit everyone. I know trainees don't have a huge amount of money, but you could jazz up your outfits with scarves etc. A session with an appearance coach or someone like Color me Beautiful will set you back around £70 (more for a longer session). It might be an investment. Maybe you could ask your boss if she knows of anyone? And tell your hairdresser your dilemma and see if she can do anything with your hair. It's a bit mean of your boss to simply criticise, she should be constructive, rather than just moaning.

Helen -30 Jul 2010 | 10:47

Come on, love.

If you really turn up in a black shirt and black trousers with flat shoes I am not surprised they don't like it. You're meant to be a City lawyer, not a waitress or a goth.

I know some ladies wear trousers in the office but they look wrong to me, far less professional than a skirt unless they are really well tailored. A crisp black shirt could look fantastic and sexy if immaculate, but once it heads into gray it will look dire. And for meetings you need court shoes of some description, even with a low heel. You can wear something comfier at your desk.

It is awkward to have to say this to a slovenly trainee, so I agree that you are lucky to have been told. Mostly you would just not get allowed near clients with no explanation.

Same goes for male trainees too - you see them with single cuff shirts, slip-on shoes, rucksacks instead of briefcases; it is just not playing the game.

Anon -30 Jul 2010 | 16:29

Consider yourself quite fortunate

I've known trainees who weren't offered a NQ job because their personal appearance was not up to scratch. None of the partners bothered to tell them so that they could address the issue. Although it may seem harsh, your supervisor is doing you a favour by telling you the facts of office life at this stage.

There is a lot of good advice above. You certainly don't have to spend vast amounts of money to look good. High street shops such as Next do perfectly decent suits. Try to avoid anything too shiny, stripy or in a cheap-looking man-made fabric. Trousers should always be quite fitted, though not revealingly tight. If fitted trousers don't flatter your figure then wear skirts - these are much more forgiving. I often used to wear heeled ankle boots with a trouser suit as they are more comfortable than high heeled shoes.

One point I do agree with is that it is worth spending money on a good haircut. I also have fine hair but a good cut and colour, along with using quality hair products, really helps. You can get sprays that disguise areas where your scalp shows through. A good salon will be able to advise you on your options.

Finally, it doesn't last forever. When you are established and bringing in plenty of work for the firm, how you look will no longer matter. I ditched the suits several years ago and it did me no harm at all. Obviously this does depend on your specialism - if you are in court a lot, for example, you will still have to follow the required dress code.

Anon -30 Jul 2010 | 17:10

Skirt the issue

I have to agree with the last poster. Trousers are sadly a difficult office look to pull off for some girls (myself included as they make me look like an eighties drag queen). I suggest skirts are a sensible option, especially if you don't like wearing fitted clothes as you can get all different fits that tend to look a lot smarter than baggy trousers. I also suggest sticking to grey or charcoal when it comes to skirts and keeping the black tops if they make you feel more comfortable. Black separates rarely look good because the colour match is never quite right which looks scruffy. If you really are a die hard black fan I suggest a businesslike black dress (try Marks and Spencer for a variety of affordable styles) which will allow you to continue wearing flats but will smarten up your whole look. Also, maybe invest in some patent flats, which won't scuff in the same way as matt leather and again, just look like you've made a bit more effort.

Good luck!!

Another girl trainee -30 Jul 2010 | 17:20

What century are we living in?

I read through the comments on this post with increasing disbelief. Really, what century are we living in? The previous posts advise wearing make up, skirts and heels. While I do not advocate slovenly clothing for the office, and entirely agree that clients expect (and deserve) to get someone who takes the trouble to ensure that they look smart, why on earth should someone have to perpetuate the entirely chauvinistic attitude in the other posts as to how a female lawyer should appear?

A woman should not be obliged to wear make up if she does not wish to do so (if your face is clean, that is all that matters). A woman should not have to wear heels (if you don't want to damage your feet for the rest of your life you have my sympathy!). A woman should not only be taken seriously if she is wearing a skirt (the most ridiculous comment of the lot). And wearing an entirely black outfit does not automatically make you a goth.

You all seem to be judging this trainee on the basis that she does not apparently meet your definition of female beauty. That is not what she is asking about and is not what lawyers should be judged on. I agree that some women look very smart when they wear heels, skirt suits and make up. I've also seen some women look ridiculous wearing all of the above. The biggest problem with trainee clothing I have come across is when a group of trainees seemed to think that the office was an opportunity to put on a fashion show, and appeared in the most outlandish things imaginable.

As far as advice goes, I would suggest speaking to someone else in the firm whose opinion you trust. If they think you should also smarten up, then you might want to think again about your clothing. Is it looking a bit threadbare? Is it stained? Do you iron it? As far as your hair goes, do you brush it before meetings? And I would agree with the advice about speaking to a hairdresser, because if nothing else it sounds like you are a little self-conscious about it which will never help when dealing with this situation.

However, remember that you do not need to become a carbon copy of your boss in order to look smart and be successful in the workplace.

Surprised -30 Jul 2010 | 17:21

Surprised: a riposte

Surprised: its not about the way things should be - its about the way they are. Law firms are not enlightened places where well selected leaders make rational business decisions upon an appraisal of the material facts and the latest views of the best way to manage. Law firms are run by people - people with perhaps strange, and usually small-c conservative, opinions. People whom a trainee needs to utterly impress, on a conscious cognitive level as well as a sub-conscious level. It ain't pretty bit it's the way it is.

The posters above have offered some excellent advice, which I won't add to.

The questioner's boss has also been very helpful in identifying the issue so that it can be dealt with, rather than bottling it and putting the next career decision in respect of this trainee down to "market forces".

It's not a good way to run a business - but that doesn't matter if you want to get on in a law firm and reach the level where the financial contribution to make gives you the liberty to buck the convention. Good luck.

Hector -30 Jul 2010 | 18:48

Tough love

@surprised: This is not about female beauty - this is about professional attire and understated make up, suits, dresses, fitted clothing and heels are part of that. If we said fashion show then your comments would be warranted. You seem to be making this issue into a feminist one when it's not. We are tough on men too - I saw many a partner aghast at shiny cheap suits that male lawyers wear, loud shirts or inappropriate ties- in fact an MC partner I know told a guy not to wear loud purple shirt and matching purple tie as we are not Carphone Warehouse. So will you rant about this too? It is just a question of looking the part!

For the female trainee, you need some tough love. Please don't feel like you are a victim and moan and let our supervisor get to you. You don't need our sympathy. In fact if we did that and tell you 'oh it is so unfair and that woman is a bitch' we would be harming your prospects in the long run.

Just bite the bullet and invest in yourself. Yes it may cost a bit but there are ways to economise and it will reap in huge dividends.

After all you are a lawyer, not a goth, waitress or fashionista. There is a dress code. make it work for you. There is no excuse for scruffiness.

tough love -30 Jul 2010 | 19:41

Hair help

Like you, I have very thin hair and have despaired for several years as it's got thinner, but I've recently found a way to deal with it and would like to share!

First, get some highlights - they make your hair look a little thicker. Second, even though this feels like the wrong thing to do, don't get it cut short - let it grow to your shoulders. Everyone suits a french plait, so get the hang of doing your hair like this in the mirror or ask your hairdresser to show you how. There's no need to pull it too tight - a looser swept back style keeps it off your scalp and most importantly - once it's looking good, use a lot of hair lacquer to keep it in place - Pantene is practically invisible and odourless and keeps your french plait in place all day. You will immediately look more professional and dare I say it, even elegant. And no need to worry about it all day, either.

There are some very pretty hair clips which won't make you look too girly which you can buy to disguise the elastic band at the base of the plait - have a look at Mikey and also Freedom at Topshop if you're on a budget. Thin hair is a nightmare, but don't let it get you down!

Helena -30 Jul 2010 | 20:31

Surprised? Really???

The comments of Surprised, for me, are a tad naive, largely miss the point and somewhat contradictory in any event.

Not a single poster is dealing with beauty; we are talking about professionalism and making the best of a training contract.

If a lawyer doesn't look the part then that is a negative against them. If there are two trainees of equal skills but only one job and one of the trainees dresses appropriately and the other does not then I wonder who might get the job! This is not rocket science.

Being told to look the part is not rude or anything approaching that - to ask a professional employee to dress appropriately is in fact the very least one would expect of them and its not difficult or expensive to achieve. If you think otherwise then quite frankly you are not living in the real world; a world where one is judged on presentation or lack of it.

I would follow the sensible advice above with regard to attire, hair and makeup and that should solve your problems in the short term. In the longer term, once you are established, get back to what you feel best in and run riot! Thats a way off yet though! Best of luck!

Me -31 Jul 2010 | 13:37

Surprised - I agree with you

Suprised - I agree with you. Being smart is not the same thing as ticking anybody else's 'what a woman should wear' boxes. I'm a bit dismayed that so many seem to think it is.

OP, you are in a professional environment and need to dress accordingly but if you're more confident and comfortable in trousers and flat shoes then go for smart trousers (with a jacket if you have meetings) and some smart (flat) shoes. As others have suggested, check your current outfit is smart enough but if you decide it's not, remember you just need to find something you look smart in and feel confident and polished wearing.

For what it's worth, I've worked in two City firms and have never worn skirts or heels to work and rarely wear make up but have had no problem gaining the respect of clients or colleagues. There's nothing wrong with the make up, high heels and skirt look if that's what you're comfortable with but it's really not obligatory for a successful career.

Also surprised -02 Aug 2010 | 11:17

To be honest OP, you are feeling pressure to look the part because you do not currently look the part - thank your supervisor for helping you be more professional and more promotable. It is your job to present a confident and smart image to clients - you will not be able to do that in baggy black trousers and shirt. Black actually suits very few people and you may look ten times better simply switching to grey or navy as a base colour.

You need to take a long hard look at your wardrobe and compare it to those of your contemporaries and seniors.

You should own at least one suit as a trainee, more likely two or three. There is no need to wear heels or a skirt but you may find that it is most cost-effective as a trainee to buy a suit which has trousers, skirt and a dress under a matching jacket - then you get maximum wear out of all the pieces. TM Lewin or Oasis are often good for inexpensive suiting, as is M&S. For more expensive (and usually better quality and therefore longer-lasting) suiting Hobbs, Whistles or Theory tend to do several cuts of trouser, skirt and jacket in the same fabric so that you can find appropriate pieces to fit you.

Try on lots of pieces and styles, find two or three that flatter you and in which you feel comfortable and smart and then stick with the same shapes every time you buy. You should be wearing reasonably fitted outfits - anything baggy is by definition not professional. If you are a larger build, and perhaps self conscious about your shape, you will need to take even more care in ensuring your clothes are tailored properly as this will flatter you and make you appear slimmer. If you need a larger size to accommodate hips or a curvier shape without pulling make sure that the items you buy are altered to fit you properly at the waist - most shops can either arrange this or recommend someone local and it is surprisingly inexpensive to have a jacket or trouser taken in to shape you a little better.

Smart and cheap shirts or simple cotton tops can be found everywhere (even Tesco and Sainsbury - if your suit is good then a basic coloured cotton tee or simple sweater underneath will not stand out) as can decent leather court shoes or classic flat pumps.

Also think about accessories - a pretty scarf which might cover a cheaper tee underneath a jacket, a nice brooch, belt or flower to add some individuality to a basic jacket, and at least one decent leather handbag which you can carry with every outfit, which will accommodate all your personal effects and will not be so large that you stand out. Debenhams and M&S sell some great simple leather bags which won't break the trainee bank but will look smart and will help you look more pulled together.

And you should never ever leave the house for the office without taking with you at least: a comb, a handkerchief, an umbrella, some breath mints and a pen and small notebook. Any handbag should be able to fit all these in, together with your purse and any other personal items you may need (spare stockings, makeup etc).

Alternatively, you might do as I have always done and keep in your desk drawer a small bag containing a spare pare of nude stockings, some deodorant, moisturiser, concealer, a comb, some mints, mascara, makeup remover and wipes - just in case of a late night or last minute event where you need to make sure you are looking smart and neat.

And yes I know men don't have to do the same - but in the real world men do not get judged on the same criteria we do. As a woman you will be judged on your appearance, at least in part, especially as a junior fee earner. Why not present the best face you can to the world - it cannot hurt your career and may well improve it?

If you are ruthless in your assessment of your shape and current wardrobe, it should be possible to smarten up your look for £700 or less - easily achievable over a couple of months for a trainee on a City salary. That includes a decent haircut and colour by the way - I have similarly fine hair and agree with posters above that a shorter cut and some highlights every 6 weeks, together with a volumising shampoo, have worked wonders for me.

If you act on your supervisor's suggestions (perhaps even ask her for some tips - I bet she would be flattered you are taking her advice) and smarten up your look you will soon stop feeling this dread of work and be able to refocus on your professional skills development - which is after all what you are there for.

Associate -02 Aug 2010 | 17:23

Pretty Fillies

Let's face it - how you look makes a huge difference, esp. for a woman.

I've been in a number of Courts/Tribunals where a finely dressed woman was taken far more seriously than her slovenly oppo.

The "sexy librarian" look isn't a bad one to follow...

Marshall Hall KC -02 Aug 2010 | 20:21

Depressed

I filed the original response on this post. I am very depressed by the tone of the posts as the discussion has developed. You do not need to be a clone or wear make-up to be smart (agree with surprised here) but you do need to wear neat, tailored clothes and have non-student hair. It is possible to be female, feminine, smart and not waltz around in three inches of make-up, a barely there pencil skirt and sky-high heels. Smartening up and pandering to the old stereotypes are two separate things!

Associate -02 Aug 2010 | 22:55

Your image needs to reflect your personal brand

Think about how you want to be perceived and then invest in an image consultant - they can take you shopping, give you a 'wardrobe weed', help you to select clothes that suit you that you wouldn't notice or choose yourself. Worth every penny, especially to create career success.

Rachel Brushfield -03 Aug 2010 | 07:54

Wow. What age are we living in? Don't get me wrong, a 'professional' appearance is important, but I am completely taken aback by the emphasis some of you lot are putting onto ridiculous minutiae.

In my experience, the most important thing, more so even than ability, is attitude. Providing you are appropriately dressed then attitude in the workplace will make or break you and will easily compensate for not looking like you stepped off a catwalk.

It sounds like the poster may be easily fazed - do your work and fight your corner in a professional manner and that will win you more respect than a posh new haircut. If it doesn't, you're in the wrong place. I think that is what probably needs to be addressed, rather than this superficial nonsense. Is this really what the City has come to?

Anonymous -03 Aug 2010 | 16:01

scruffy

Typical lawyers! Most of you have missed the point entirely. She is clearly scruffy and needs to smarten up. I have no interest in advising her what to wear. Spend some dough and take some pride in your appearance.

please! -03 Aug 2010 | 16:44

Ask partner for fashion tips?

It is much more difficult for female trainees to work out what to wear. I think you should wear your hair in the most flattering way, as you won't feel confident otherwise. If your clothes are smart and professional, you can get away with slightly messy hair.

I'm guessing if you are wearing black on black that you are worried about matching clothes together. In that case, a plain black or grey dress and pretty cardigan is the simplest solution. Keep a suit and clean shirt on a hanger in your office (so your partner can see that you can change at a moment's request. Wear the low heels on the journey to work but change into some mid-heels for work.

Also, try asking your boss for some tips e.g. whether she could recommend any good shops for work clothes. She obviously takes fashion seriously and will be flattered that you are asking for her advice.

Anon1 -03 Aug 2010 | 17:20

cosmetic surgery

Suggest getting breast enhancement and wear a short skirt - that should help you on the promotion front.

old fashioned -03 Aug 2010 | 17:36

Suits

We're are not known as The Suits for nothing. If you're working in professional services like law, you should be wearing one.

Oasis, Warehouse etc have skirt/trouser suits for around £150. If you're struggling to get a good fit, most dry cleaners also provide tailoring services so garments can easily be amended to your shape (I'm 5'2 and regularly have to get the legs on trousers shortened; it costs £10-15).

Anonymous -04 Aug 2010 | 13:51

Stupot

Remember your boss is a senior lawyer. She probably doesn't have much of a social life, and hasn't done for some years. Your role is to validate her at every turn. Dress like her. Laugh at her jokes. It is not about your personal brand, you are a trainee. You should therefore mirror her brand, but at a level a rung or two below (i.e. don't have a better suit than her).

I would say the same whether you were male or female. Whilst passing through a MC firm's depts as a trainee some years ago now, I noticed how different departments definitely had different looks. Capital markets lawyers loved their chinos and polo shirts, and ties were never worn. Corporate lawyers loved their charcoal grey identikit suits and ties were always worn (but don't you dare wear a Hermes tie if you aren't a partner, or indeed a pinstripe suit, or anything showing any form of individuality). And so on. I've even seen a department where everyone wore the same type of glasses.

Successful trainees who went on to qualify in those departments mirrored the look of the people in those departments. Adds to the "one of us" mentality. People hire their own. But it isn't just clothes. Don't be better than your boss, just look like you aspire to be them (choke back the vomit). So in your case, thank your boss and ask for her advice/feedback on outfits (not when she's in the middle of a negotiation, but you get the point).

Be warned though, don't get it "too right". I used to have no end of friction with my boss because I was more talented, funnier, and better looking, and even managed to just about squeeze past him in the "most arrogant" stakes (as this sentence will have illustrated). He hated me as a result, but not so much as when he realised I did not think him an appropriate role model.

In short, save the individualism for when you escape/become more senior. For now, suck it up.

Copy your boss -04 Aug 2010 | 14:06

Many thanks for everyone's suggestions. However, as a male trainee, I would appreciate some comments from this perspective. At 27 my hair is thinning somewhat, but there is not much I can do about this. I keep my breach neatly trimmed. Any suggestions on shirt-tie colour combos?

original poster -04 Aug 2010 | 16:59

Tie your hair back? A pony tail has no place in a law firm - not even in the IT department.

As for wearing a black shirt... remember you work for a law firm and not Foxtons/a mobile 'phone shop.

Buck up your ideas and the valid criticism will stop.

Anonymous -19 Aug 2010 | 09:48

Same game

I agree with many of the comments - it's about looking smart and immaculate - whether or not you wear make-up, a skirt or heels. If you look like you are particular and thorough about your appearance, clients and colleagues will, subconsciously, assume that you are as thorough about your work. It applies equally to men and usually it's a fair assumption. A chaotic appearance - hair that needs cut, shirt not tucked in, badly ironed shirt is usually reflected in a chaotic work manner. Smart men tend to be smart workers. View work attire like a school uniform - would your mother have let you leave the house looking as you do (when you were at an age where she could tell you what to do)?

Mme F -19 Aug 2010 | 17:26

Indeed - as a previous Career Clinic poster once said: "A solicitor who looks after her own appearance will look after her client".

Anonymous -19 Aug 2010 | 17:34

Original Poster: What You Need

The first thing you need is a confidence boost. Confidence is in short supply in private practice, as the gratuitous nastiness in some of the previous posts illustrates. Look to your family, your friends - any place but the office - to remind you that you're great!

The next thing you need is some constructive, practical advice, and here it is: to meet your earning potential you'll need to present a professional image in the workplace and from what you say, I'm afraid it doesn't sound like your efforts have gone far enough.

I would start with your hair. You can hide thinning hair either with a toupee, or by cutting most of it off. Toupees are high-maintenance and from what you say it doesn't sound like you're not, so shave it off. Go to the barber and ask for a No 3 all over. After 4 weeks go back for a trim and ask for a No 2 or a No 1, and keep experimenting until you find what you like.

You don't say if you have a beard. Generally speaking less facial hair is seen as more professional. Any beard you have should be immaculate, and shaved/trimmed every morning. Invest in a decent razor and shaving cream and take your time; get up 10 minutes earlier if you have to.

Now: your clothes. I don't subscribe to the "copy your boss" school of thought (although I see the logic) simply because you can't force people to wear what makes them uncomfortable for any length of time. An example: I've got a client who looks fantastic in baby pink, but she was forced by her mother to wear it for years (she was a tomboy) and now, aged 38, she still can't stand to wear it.

The solution is to convey a professional image while still being true to yourself, which is more than doable. It sounds like you have difficulty with your firm's dress-down dress code. Most men in my office are the same. For them, it's easiest to ignore our dress-down policy and instead opt for a good, safe uniform: suit, good quality shirt and tie and decent shoes. You may find that doing the same makes your life a lot easier.

You'll need at least 2 suits to rotate during the week. Choose conservative, neutral colours - dark blue, grey but not black or brown - without a shine and a subtle (if any) pattern. Check that they're all wool, the only synthetic fabric should be in the lining. Always get your suits altered to fit you properly, and get the best quality you can afford. Most lawyers who've "arrived" in private practice spend £500-£750 per suit, but M&S and John Lewis do decent ones for less. Most people who work there have some colour/style training and can help you choose what suits you.

Shirts and ties: you can get these made if you like, but if not try John Lewis and TM Lewins. Pick colours that reflect your own: if you're fair, pick pastels and steer away from bright white. If dark, pick something stronger, maybe with a stripe. Some think it's inappropriate for men to wear shirts with buttoned rather than turned-back cuffs. I don't agree, but you should avoid button-down collars.

Your tie will be the focal point of your outfit, so choose them carefully and avoid twee/crazy patterns and wild colours.

Shoes: you'll need 2-3 pairs to rotate, although it's okay for them to be identical. If your suit is blue/grey, get black shoes. Lace-ups are more professional than loafers. Be prepared to spend £100-£150 per pair. Loakes are a good brand, or you can get Oliver Sweeney shoes (normally £250) or Church's in the sales.

Courage! Let me know via another post if you need more help.

Solicitor and Image Consultant -19 Aug 2010 | 18:00

to solicitor and image consultant

I am glad you have tried help this trainee, but I think the trainee is female so the comments about shaving her hair off and trimming her beard are not really appropriate.

anon -20 Aug 2010 | 15:47

...if the trainee is a bearded lady, then hair reduction is entirely appropriate advice.

However... -20 Aug 2010 | 16:01

I Think You'll Find,

Anon and however, that in fact the original poster is a man - check his 4 Aug post at about 4:50pm!

Solicitor and Image Consultant -22 Aug 2010 | 18:35

Serious??

I am often amazed by how spoon-fed some trainess are that they need advice on such simple matters.

If your boss is picking on you unfairly, it's a different matter. If she is right, just work it out yourself. If you cannot work out something so simple, how do you expect to handle demands of clients with greater needs?

Just another observer -23 Aug 2010 | 13:41

Easy peasy

It's easy to look satisfactorily tidy as a male lawyer:

1. Keep your hair short and boring. Shave as required.
2. Go to TM Lewin and buy seven light blue double cuff shirts that fit you, some cufflinks, and three plain ties in red, yellow and green.
3. Buy two identical dark grey suits each with an extra pair of trousers. M&S aren't the world's greatest suits, but they have lots of size options, and they're good enough to avoid adverse comments.
4. Buy a pair of black shoes and five pairs of black socks.
5. Have the week's worn shirts and trousers laundered and ironed over the weekend by a dry cleaner near work. Pick up on Monday.
6. If you can leave the above (save the socks) in the office on hangers and get changed in the morning when you get in, all the better, as nothing will get creased while travelling.

Almost zero effort.

Associate -23 Aug 2010 | 17:56

Strategies

Treat this as an opportunity to get a working rapport with someone both rude and unreasonable. Sadly you'll meet a few more in your long and fulfilling career. Their careers don't tend to last. As you're a trainee, it's not a life sentence. One strategy could be to outshine Rude Boss in some area where she doesn't compete - why not knock out an article on crypto-fungibility in emerging nations' financial markets, or organise an inter-department shove ha'penny league. Do something to make your mark. Cases are won by organisation, clients won by getting the job done to time. Any client impressed by hair luxuriance isn't worth having.

Brummel -24 Aug 2010 | 16:35

Trainee bod (with attitude?)

Mmm. 'When in Rome' probably says it all.

Legal attire suitable for both sexes may not be particularly attractive or even desirable for specific individuals due to the challenges of genetics, but if you were a car mechanic, gardener, plumber, roofer etc. - whatever your sex - you'd be wearing something like overalls, looking the part, and, crucially, be ready for action.

Think: if you'd paid lots of money (REMEMBER: LOTS OF MONEY!) to someone to paint the outside of your house and they turned up in an immaculate tailored suit, very expensive car, impeccably shiny shoes, no toolbox and ridiculously manicured nails would you feel concerned as to their hands-on capabilities? I would!

The dress goes with the territory.

I have had alopecia for many years and have learned to deal with it so as to present my hair in such a way as it goes unnoticed to all but gimlet-eyed hairdressers.

Think of your clients, not yourself. They are who we serve in this business, in the highest possible sense of servitude. They need, often in times of great personal change or distress, professional reassurance that you can help them in a way that they cannot help themselves within a system that may be outside their comprehension and which frightens them. Help them by reassuring them with your dress code.

This may seem to be a somewhat maverick view of the legal profession, but in my experience it is easy for us to forget just how pivotal a part in people's lives we can play, and how much responsibility we must accept for that.

Dress accordingly. Not for you. For them.

Jane Warren -24 Aug 2010 | 19:08

My boss?

She sounds like my ex-boss. Wow - can there really be two? Btw the way to deal with it is move far, far away from her as soon as you get a chance.

N/A -05 Nov 2010 | 20:04