Career Clinic: The best of 2009

A look back at the best Career Clinic dilemmas from 2009 - a year which saw heated debate over long hours office culture, troublemaking trainees, and whether makeup can boost your chances of promotion.

Get involved in 2009 by emailing your conundrums in confidence to community@legalweek.com.

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JANUARY

Are bow ties a good look for the modern lawyer? - "Unless you are going to wear a monocle and walk with a zimmer frame, it is a very bad idea..."

My secretary is wasting my time! - "I quite enjoyed showing this to my secretary. Who made it perfectly clear that if I ever said anything like this
to her I would be thrown out of a window..."

Can I take time off from my TC for cosmetic surgery? - "People WILL notice - even a tiny change, that's just how noses are. They stick out and people notice..."

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FEBRUARY

Will going travelling give my firm an excuse to get rid of me? - "Chat with the partners and gauge their response. However, the idea that you must do something legally related to avoid denting your CV is laughable..."

My trainee is impossible to manage! - "You are the supervisor and you need to talk to your trainee about it, instead of relying on the partner to sort it out. By failing to pull your trainee up on their attitude, you risk bringing the reputation of the firm and the profession down..."

I'm missing my bonus target to keep the client happy - "You need to work harder and smarter. The partner is doing the right thing; the world has moved on. Think about it - can you really justify 10 hours a day billing every day? Or are you a subconsious padder?"

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MARCH

Should I let on that I'm going to the G20 protests? - "This kind of news is best shared in an all users email to which you have attached a photo of you wearing an 'I am a hippy' T-shirt. Don't forget to copy in your clients..."

Swapping private practice for a more noble cause - "I haven't seen my family for the last three weeks because I have had to travel from Cairo to Mumbai to Tokyo to sort out a variety of corporate and governance issues for the company I work for, consistently harder than I ever had to in 10 years at a magic circle firm..."

Will a train fare fine derail my job hunt? - "Remind them that Cherie Blair also failed to pay her rail fare...
it was no hindrance to her career as a judge and barrister!"

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APRIL

Will make-up help me get made up? - "In these choppy times it often is survival of the fittest - so bend forward at the drinking machine, liberally pick up papers with a scoop top and expose your shapely ankles..."

Am I expected to work late every night? - "I thought that billing £300k a year was enough to prove that I was an extremely hard-working, efficient and productive individual worthy of promotion, but no, the one thing that got raised time and again at my appraisals was my 'lack of visibility' in the office because I went home at six..."

Will studying outside of London hit my City hopes? -"I did a two-year senior status LLB. The dropout rate exceeded 50% and to get a decent grade required man-killing effort - you are squeezing a normal degree into 22 months of study, with no vacation to speak of..."

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MAY

Do lawyers truly enjoy their work? - "Of course lawyers love their work - what they dislike is oppressive office politics, management jargon-speak, billing pressures, having to type their own work because of lack of support staff..."

Can a long-term paralegal make it as a lawyer? - "The concern most partners interviewing you will have is how you managed to stomach being a paralegal for seven years..."

I've made the wrong career choice - "The GDL is horrific. It's intellectually offensive and the law school only 'cares' about you since you're paying them extortionate amounts of money..."

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JUNE

Does my experience count for nothing? - "The fact that any agents have given you the time of day in this market, when they should be dealing with people they can actually place and finding new clients they can work with, is testament to the fact that not all recruiters are mercenaries out to make a quick buck..."

Will disclosing my diagnosis make a difference? - "I have a dear friend who was diagnosed with MS years ago. He observed that had she been a litigator, he would have advised her to stop, as stress makes the illness worse..."

High street TC or big firm paralegal? - "Having worked in big firms as well as small and in-house, it is a myth that the work in City firms is more interesting or more difficult than in the high street..."

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JULY

Trainee to NQ - is a £1k increase enough? - "I'd make the most of your good luck - as a March qualifier I went from £40k to £0 through no fault of my own..."

Dealing with a troublemaking trainee - "I had a similar situation where the trainee was so useless and lazy that it was just a joke. Her line manager did not want to deal with it, presumably to avoid difficult conflict..."

I'm worried I won't be up to the job - "There is nothing worse than a chippy trainee with an undue sense of entitlement. Given your self-awareness, there is no chance you'll fall into this category so that's a good reason why any sane supervisor will be thanking their lucky stars that you're sitting with them..."

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AUGUST

Do expensive BD activities win work? - "Aww, come on guys, stop beating yourselves up. I always give work to the last person who entertained me. I know you hate doing it, and most of you have the personal charm of a gorilla, buts that's why you became lawyers, eh?"

Three years at the Bar and ready for a change - "Wait for a big crisis (Bosnia, Rwanda, Darfur...) and just go out there and try your luck..."

Is a London TC better than training in the regions? - "I have never photocopied anything. I don't know how to. The other day I needed a copy of my passport for a visa and had to get my secretary in to do it because I didn't know how the photocopier worked..."

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SEPTEMBER

Our 'lifer' boss is killing morale - "Please have more sympathy for the poor old chap. He's done his bit waiting for dead men's shoes and now has his reward. Your turn will come. Patience is a virtue..."

Is my non-Russell Group first worth anything? - "I'm surprised so many of you who conduct interviews at top firms are willing to look at lower-ranked unis. I worked like a pig to get a high 2.1. I applied to over 100 firms and got not one interview. This was over seven years ago and I've been doing admin at the local job centre ever since..."

No luck with TC, should I try lecturing? - "Do a LLM at Disneyland Uni, Mickey Mouse School of Law. The brochure says that after completing a LLM in Donkey Law you are guaranteed a highly-paid lecturing position, with lucrative perks such as 50 free rides on Space Mountain..."

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OCTOBER

Should I speak up about a dreadful partner hire? - "Having been in the industry for some time, it staggers me some of the people who get hired as partners..."

Is my withdrawn training contract better kept secret? - "Why are all these people with fantastic training contracts failing something as routine as a GDL or LPC exam?! Overconfidence? Not taking it seriously enough?"

Is 27 too old to start a career in law? - "You might be a bit more cynical about any "wow-my-first-real-job-isn't-it-amazing!" types straight out of university, you probably won't regard your fellow trainees as potentially your best mates forever and ever - or want to go out all the time with them on the razz..."

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NOVEMBER

What's more important - getting on with your colleagues or enjoying your work? - "Always choose the team over the work. I made this mistake many years ago. I still regret it. I would happily shovel garbage for a living, as long as I worked with good, honest, conscientious people..."

I'm not interested in promotion! - "You're toast, or should be. Why is your boss giving you the chance to step up when you plainly can't be ar8ed? Qualify during the boom did you? I'm afraid life's a bit tougher than you lot have had it. Suck it up or ship out..."

Dealing with a difficult colleague - "Buy yourself a fish. Let it go off. Put it in a container of sufficient quality to conceal the smell. Bring it into the office. Work late. Secrete it in a location where it will be hard to find, then act nice as pie, whilst enjoying the schadenfreude as her office gets worse and worse..."

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DECEMBER

My outspoken style is affecting my career - "You'll have to learn to be a hypocrite like the rest of us. I used to despise such people - but now I've signed up with the rest of them. It's less painful than you think..."

Promotion with a pay cut? - "These don't sound like the actions of a firm desperate to retain your services. Is it just me or are you being gently pushed into leaving? I'm just imagining why my boss might ask me to do that and the only half sensible answer I reach is that he would want me out..."

Would a job at a small regional firm be a step backwards? - "Hells bells, what is wrong with smaller firms? I specialise in commercial property and moved four years ago to a high street firm in Solihull after a stretch with a firm in the Midlands, and I've become a far more complete solicitor since my move..."

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Thanks to all this year's contributors and commenters. Career Clinic is only as good as the questions we receive, so email your career conundrums in confidence to community@legalweek.com.