Career Clinic: Desperately seeking a role model

The Association of Women Solicitors has a mentoring scheme - try the AWS website.And there are plenty of women (and men) in high positions who are good at what they do and nice people as well. You don't have to be nasty to get on.

Helen -02 Jun 2008 | 14:03

As was stated to Jenny when she was fired from The Apprentice - you don't have to be a bitch to be a successful woman in business. I wish more women would adhere to that advice!!

Anonymous -02 Jun 2008 | 14:50

So do I, I still have nightmares about the female partner who I sat with as a trainee...

Scarred for life -02 Jun 2008 | 17:20

Not only does the AWS have a formal mentoring scheme (but note this offers 2 mentoring conversations to deal with a particular issue rather than an ongoing scheme), the Association also runs a number of events on soft skills, leadership, making an impact etc all targeted at helping women in their careers. There are lots of social events as well. These events are well run and are followed by a networking reception where you can meet lawyers who are actually interested in other women solicitors. Check out What's On at www.womensolicitors.org.uk I have met inspiring women through the AWS who have been supportive to me at various stages in my career.

Anonymous -02 Jun 2008 | 17:25

Look into the Hidden Brain Drain task force as well - they have some useful info on senior women at work.

Anonymous -03 Jun 2008 | 13:32

Ice queens in my view actually make it more difficult for other women to succeed because they either put the good women off or taint them with their awfulness. The ones I have come across are usually just bullies. You certainly don't have to be an ice queen to succeed as a female lawyer. The other issue is the basic work/life balance thing which I do believe is more difficult for women, ice queens or not. One of the reasons I stopped fee earning was because I never came across a female partner whose life I could see myself leading, even when they were very personable and decent individuals. But that is a separate issue on which you have to make your personal decision, based on your own set of priorities and ambitions. I hope that the suggestions here for the AWS etc help you to find someone who is an inspiring example.

Anonymous -03 Jun 2008 | 17:33

This partner may not actually be an ice queen, it could just be a name that others have given her. She may even like the rumour as it may , in her eyes, give her a bit of status (especially if she has had to fight tooth and nail to be taken seriously). It is almost as if it is expected for men to be robust and agressive, but women are not expected to be like that all and are softer targets for this type of name calling. I understand there may be a need for a role model, but wouldn't you rather be a pioneer, rather than a person who wants to follow in someone elses footsteps.

Anonymous -03 Jun 2008 | 18:20

Why is it that you need a role model who is female - have you fallen into the trap of thinking that unless someone is of the same gender as you they cannot have the same concerns, interests, ideals as you, and that you cannot hope to emulate the career path of a man just because you're female (and vice versa for the men out there)?You're simply repeating the same dogma some men have been dragging out for years to try to prevent some women from succeeding. Get over the fact you are a woman (like 52% of the human race) find a role model whose work ethic and intellect you admire, who is good at their job, who is a good leader and a a good reacher and if possible whose interests you can share and there you have it - a role model. It makes no difference whether they are male or female - just like it does not matter whether you are male or female - the job is to be a lawyer and give legal advice. Presumably you got your job because you were right for the role, not because you were a quota female: so why choose your role model because she is a woman rather than because he or she is admirable and can teach you useful skills?Organisations like AWS (and to an extent LGBT and the various ethnicity-support groups) are sort of missing the point - if you want to be treated equally you have to just get on with things, rather than suggest you need special protection and help to be as good as everyone else. I am not a female lawyer - I am just a lawyer. Like my colleagues are not male lawyers, or black lawyers, or gay lawyers - they are all just lawyers (what a depressing thought). Their race, gender, orientation, faith, background are all irrelevant - the only question is: can they do the job and do they do it? Why are we still partitioning ourselves up and dwelling on our differences instead of celebrating how much we all have in common and how much easier it is for us all to work together now?

Anonymous -04 Jun 2008 | 17:15

You'd love to be a partner and yet you need somebody to hold your hand? You ought to have enough about you without a role model/mentor.

Associate, Mid-tier -04 Jun 2008 | 18:10

1. You are lucky to have a mentor at all. I qualified in a Legal 500 regional firm in 1991 when mentors were unheard of. There are still many solicitors who do not have the opportunity to access a mentor.2. Why do you need a female role model ? Does this role model even need to be a solicitor ?In my life I have looked at people from all walks of life and where I admire those people, I have assessed what it is I admire about them and tried to import those qualities into the way I work.3. You misunderstand the purpose of mentoring in my view. It is not a question of liking a mentor, it is mutual respect and your willingness to learn something from the mentor.4. Lawyers often have to adopt a "tough" persona in the workplace to succeed and to convince clients they are the lawyer for them. If you do not like that aspect then maybe you need to practice law in areas where empathy and interpersonal skills become more important,e.g on the high street or in the third sector.

high street solicitor -06 Jun 2008 | 13:17

I suspect few, if any, 'ice queens' are truly successful people. I was fortunate enough to be inspired by two trailblasers, one I met as a high school student and one I assisted in pro-bono work when I was a law student in Australia - take heart and google 'Dame Roma Mitchell' and 'Robyn Layton QC' for some 'non-ice queen' success stories.

Philippa Bagnall, Solicitor, Aaron and Partners -11 Jun 2008 | 17:30